Baywatch

Dear Mr. Hasselhoff,

You have the most alcoholic legs I have ever seen, please wear longer shorts.

Thanks,

The General Public

Samantha Ronson

Is it just me or does Samantha Ronson look like a angry, sleep deprived 14-year old boy?

Age ain't nothing but a number....

Huge Hefner's fiance Crystal Harris recently said that she doesn't notice the age difference at all between her and Hef, which let me remind you is a modest 60-year age gap. 

So, your telling me that while you are helping him lift his 60-year old, fried chicken skin balls out of bed in the morning you don't think to yourself "is the money really worth it" Yeah right!

WE LOVE KANYE WEST

Today Kanye West woke up and said:

"Yo, I'm bout to rock them J's wit those black leather pants, but I'm gonna flip the script wit that Killa Cam brown fur coat and my snake skin backpack... Yo, that sh*t's gonna be so fly, I'm like the black Alexander McQueen fur reel!!

Adrian Grenier

Adrian Grenier shows off his "Marshmallow Man" body in Miami....

Bro, just do like six crunches and four push-ups a day and your body won't look so much like Kesha's...

Image by justjared
Adrian Grenier enjoys some downtime on Monday in South Beach, Fla.

Jessica Simpson & Eric Johnson

Jessica Simpson & fiance Eric Johnson brought in the New Year in Aspen, Colorado..

Dear Jessica & Eric,

Please take the damn batteries out of your outfits, it's making people nauseous... K, thanks.

P.S.

Eric, Congratulations I heard she's a panther in the sack.....

But Mommy, Snooki did it and she's famous.....

I honestly believe that reading Snooki's book would be like punching myself repeatedly in the face non-stop for 45 minutes...

So to all the young girls out there; tan obsessively, hook up with tons of guys, drink too much, wear the sluttiest clothes you can find, sleep til noon, wear dirty ass slippers all day, grow a FUPA and you too can be successfully....

Christina Milian

Christina Milian was on the cover of Latina Magazine?

I guess J-Lo, Eva Mendes, Sofia Vergara, Eva Longoria, Adriana Lima, Salma Hayek, Penlelope Cruz and Jessica Alba were all busy....

Cristiano Ronaldo & Irina Shayk

I don't care how sexy you think you are, if you wear shorts that are this small you deserved to get punched in the balls..

Image by justjared
Cristiano Ronaldo spends a recent holiday in the Maldives with Model Irina Shayk. 

Drake & Nikki

Can you imagine how ugly their baby would be.....

FAMILY RESEMBLANCE

Isn't it crazy how much they look alike, I can't really tell who's, who?

Double take...

Is it just me or does Christina Aguilera's baby daddy Jordan Bratman look a lot like the Unabomber?

Image by justjared

Facebook is worth $50 Billion Dollars

After a recently raising $500 million dollars from Goldman Sachs and Digital Sky Technologies, Mark Zuckerberg's "Facebook" is now valued at $50 billion dollars.

And even though he is one of the youngest billionaires in the world, people like David Spade will still always get more chicks. Weird but true.

Movie Review.. But what do I know

SALT: If you like sexy action then you should check this movie out. Angelina Jolie looks hot, kills people, makes angry faces and saves the world....Uh Awesome!  

The Other Guys: If you want to hear Mark Wahlberg yell at Will Ferrell for 90 minutes only to be slightly disappointed go ahead and watch The Other Guys. I am a huge Will Ferrell and Mark Wahlberg fan, I've seen Old School & Shooter a combined like 123 times. In my opinion this movie fell short of expectations kind of like Manny Ramirez and the Dodgers.

Social Network: I thought this movie was a lot of fun and it was kind of cool to get a behind the scenes look on how Facebook was created and by who. I felt Justin Timberlake was good but not nearly as good as Jesse Eisenberg. If you want to see a movie about a nerdy college student who a created a website to get chicks and is now one of the riches people in the world BUT still doesn't get chicks, then I suggest you watch this movie.

Wall Street 2: It's always tough to follow a classic, but over all it was an entertaining movie. Michael Douglas had some genius one liners and Shia Lebeouf was typical Shia; Witty, humorous and entertaining. If you are interested in seeing a Transformers (minus hot Megan Fox) meets the stock market love story about money, greed, forgiveness and payback then check it out.

The Kids Are All Right: When I was told it was a story about a lesbian couple who had two children that wanted to connect with their biological sperm donor father I had my doubts, but I actually really liked this movie. Mark Rufalo and Julianne Moore were very entertaining and that little kid form Bridge to Terabithia was in it also. If you are a little uncomfortable with a lesbian sex scene where they watch gay male porn (I make it sound a lot worse than it is) then maybe you should think twice about seeing it but other than that I suggest you check it out.

Black Swan: You don't have to be into ballet to watch this movie BUT you do have to be into; mental illness, chicks in tights, bad feet, mommy / daughter issues and Uhhhhh, Mila Kunis & Natalie Portman totally hooking up.

Mila Kunis & Macaulay Culkin SPLIT!

Super Hot Mila Kunis, 27, and always pale and clammy looking childhood star Macaulay Culkin, 30, call it quits after dating since 2002  a rep for the actress told the "New York Post."

The fact that they have been together for eight years blows my mind, I mean look at this picture he looks like her stalker.

Fergie in St. Barth

Dear Fergie,

Just so you know, I am a certified Motor Boat Specialist. K, bye.

Image by justjared
Fergie and her husband Josh Duhamel arrive after taking a boat ride and head to dinner at Le Ti St. Barth on Sunday 

Rosie Huntington -Whiteley & Jason Statham

Note to self:  if you beat people up in movies for a living then Hot Victoria Secret models in bathing suits will frolic with you on private yachts.

Image by justjared
Rosie Huntington-Whiteley is on fire in a bikini with bad ass boyfriend Jason Statham on a private yacht while vacationing over the weekend in St. Barts

Rosie needs my help..

Dear Rosie Huntington Whiteley,

If you ever need a personal wedgie picker, I'm your guy.. K, bye XoXo

Image by justjared

I still don't get it...Continued

You ever have one of those moments where you see a couple and your like "why in the hell is she with that guy" yeah, this is another one of those moments....

Kim Kardashian Killing Glamour

Bootylicious, reality TV star, entrepreneur and soon to be pop artist Kim Kardashian (Kimmie K) is killing the cover of Glamour magazine's February 2011 issue which will hit news stands Tuesday December 11. 

So, she just looks to good for me to make fun of today... I.O.U

Inside Kimmie K talks about being a sex symbol (duh), posing for playboy, having her life recorded 24/7 and about woman being comfortable in their bodies. 

There will definitely be a huge increase in the amount of men that will buy Glamour magazine next week, and most of them won't buy it to read...

 

Happy New Year... Jigga Man Style

My favorite New Years picture....

Image by justjared
Rihanna, Jay-Z and Kanye West hug it out at the grand opening of Marquee Nightclub at The Cosmopolitan of Las Vegas on New Year's Eve 

And in other news....

David Arquette checks into rehab...

Hey David,

When you get out of rehab the first rounds on me...

Lindsay Lohan quotes Gandhi... No, seriously she quoted Gandhi

Miranda Cosgrove is not in rehab, hasn't been caught doing drugs, does not have a sex tape floating around and doesn't have loser parents who suck her dry.... at least yet

Image by pacificcoastnews

 And Paris Hilton is still famous for no reason....

Image by splashnewsonline

Celebrities in Mexico...

Jesse Metcalfe was spotted on the beach with......... Wait, Jesse Metcalfe is still a celebrity? 

Walk of shame 2010....

I don't even know really what to say about this one...

Lenny Kravitz shows us why spending the night at Lady Ga Ga's house is not a good idea.. OR he is just into the half man, half woman, part goat look?? I don't know, either way it was a life choice he should have put more thought into..

N.Y.E. Style..

HELP!!!!! Kanye's jean jacket and swoop neck T are attacking me........

Jay-Z, Aziz Ansari, and Kanye West all partied at Marquee Nightclub at The Cosmopolitan in Las Vegas last night.